Recently, the pastor at my old church gave a sermon on the Gospel and homosexuality. I urge you to listen to it. It is beautiful, loving, and Biblically sound in how he approaches this extremely touchy subject. Again, please listen to it. Not only is it about the Gospel and homosexuality and what the Bible says about that particular sin, but he goes in depth also about what the Gospel says about ALL sin. It's pretty powerful stuff. Listen to it with an open and understanding heart.
Anyways, the church was going to be having a Q&A session regarding the subject where they could answer people's questions on a more intimate and personal level. I felt a strong need to speak at this session, so I prayed to God for guidance in this situation for a while. I asked my pastor if he wanted me to give my testimony at the session. Of course, he thought that it would be a great benefit to the session to have someone who once was a member of the church and has struggled with same-sex attraction, so I drove down one night to speak.
Let me tell you... It is much more frightening to give your full testimony in person than over a computer screen to thousands of people on social media who you don't even know. And this is coming from a person who is extremely comfortable with speaking with people and has been trained as a performer. I was still shaking in bones as I walked up to the pulpit to speak. My words were shaky as they flowed from my mouth and before I knew it, I was done. It was all a blur as I walked back to my seat. I had no idea how the congregation took my testimony or even if I made any sense. I am extremely self-conscious that my words are not enough to convey the feelings and thoughts of my mind as I compose them into sentences. God is slowly teaching me otherwise. After my adrenaline had subsided and my heart rate calmed, I actually started to truly listen to the questions and answers that were being given.
One woman in particular was feeling completely lost in her situation as it was similar to my story except her perspective was a little different. I don't want to give too much detail about her situation as it is hers and not mine to tell. I immediately knew I had to chime in to the answer in addition to what both of my pastors were giving. I told her how, now that I look back on it, the people that God placed in my life to help lead me to Jesus (even when I was rejecting them and how angry and uncomfortable I was with them when they confronted me about it), that without their efforts of planting the seeds of the Gospel in my ears, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I can't seem to thank them enough.
The reason I'm telling you this is because I think that we get bogged down when preaching the Gospel to seemingly unwilling hearts so much so that we begin to think our efforts are futile.
Don't.
If my friends and family didn't constantly preach the Gospel to me and care my spiritual resting place even when I didn't want to listen, those seeds wouldn't have been planted and I wouldn't have thought about it further. Those seeds wouldn't had a chance at catching the fertile ground and taking root in my life. And then the events that eventually led me to Jesus may or may not have led me to Jesus. Thank goodness that He has the bigger plans for my life.
After the session I was bombarded by people who wanted to ask further questions of me (which I thought was silly considering we were all attending a Q&A session in which they failed to ask their questions to the much more knowledgable pastors... I chuckled a bit on the drive home). The woman who I spoke to came up to me and simply gave me a hug and told me that I helped her more than I would know. I gave her some more contact information in case she needed anything else and then she left.
I was extremely blessed by being able to be there. It encouraged me to see all of my old community group friends as well as my pastors. I had missed them so much!!!
Anyways. Here is the link to the sermon I was talking about. Again I urge you to listen with an open and loving heart.
Here's a link to the Q&A session audio:
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for being so much bigger than I am and knowing better than I do. Please allow my words and the words of my pastor be of influence to everyone I come in contact with. Thank you for the people that led me to you.Thank you for taking my sinful, dead body out from the depths of the ocean and breathing life back into my lungs. Thank you for your innumerable amounts of grace that you have given me in my life to use for your glory. Amen.
